Monsters...

Dear Abigail,

Oh my word, things have been tough around here at bedtime. I don't know what happened, what sparked it, or what's hiding under your bed, but you do NOT want to sleep in there. And, as you may recall from multiple past blogs, you were SOOOOO good about going to sleep, especially at night time. Here's how it all started...

Monday night, we went through our normal routine of dinner, then bath, then story time. After a book or two, we turned out the lights and I started walking you towards your crib. That's when you lost it. I have never seen you scream like this. You had a grip so hard on me, I had to literally peal you off to put you in the crib. While I did think it was a bit odd, I didn't think too long on it and just put you in your crib, thinking it would dissolve soon enough, since you are so good at night time. But it didn't. And you kept screaming. After what seemed like 2 hours, but probably was more like 5 minutes, I decided this was too weird and that something might just be wrong, so I did the one thing I probably should not have done... took you out of the crib. You were so happy to see me and immediately stopped crying the second I took you out of the crib. I tried rocking you for a few minutes and put you back in the crib only to have you death grip me. Then I proceeded to walk around with you, singing to you, and you were calm, even put your head on my shoulder, so it was clear you were tired. Tried the bed again. Screams again. So weird... Finally, mainly because my back was hurting, I decided to put you in our bed. Within minutes, you were fast asleep. Good, right? Nah, cause now I had to move you into your bed. I thought since you were so tired/exhausted from the screaming that this may be easy, but after 3 failed attempts, I decided to leave you in our bed until we were ready to go to sleep. Finally, I was able to make the switcharoo without you waking up. Low and behold, around 4:30 that morning, you woke up, recognized you were in your crib and were screaming! Daddy went and got you and was kind enough to wrap up his night's rest on the couch while you and Mommy slept in our bed. And you did sleep, until 7:15 the next morning when we had to wake you up for school! Crazy...

So, Tuesday night, Mommy decided we were going to let you cry it out. We had to do it - it is what's best for you in the long run. At least that's what I kept telling myself... So, same routine, same normalcy, and then Daddy goes to put you in the crib - BAM, here come the screams. And you screamed. And screamed. It was miserable. I know 20 minutes had to have gone by and you were steadily screaming over and over again. And, to make matters worse, you were climbing out of your crib. We watched you several times on the monitor get so close to tipping over the edge that Mommy couldn't take it any more. I decided to go get you out, and thank goodness because as I was walking in the room, you jumped out of the crib!! Well, I decided we weren't going to put you in our bed anymore, not going to start that habit, so we put you in the guest bed. And, once again, you fell asleep no problem. Of course, you did fall off the bed a couple times, but you didn't even wake up for one of them! We had pillows on the ground, too, so that helped.

So, clearly you aren't liking your crib, right? So, Daddy and I decided since A) you don't like the crib, B) you can jump out of the crib and C) we don't know what else to do, we would convert your crib into a toddler bed.

So, Wednesday after work, Daddy converted the crib and Mommy made it look as big girl as she could with the few things she had. We showed you after dinner and here's what you thought of it:

YOU LOVED IT!!! You were so excited about your big girl bed that you could get in and out of, and you had a blanket and everything. You even pushed Mommy and Daddy out of your room and turned your light off and said "night, night". I couldn't believe - it can't be this easy, right...

Well, after bathtime, we put jammies on and got ready for bed and you went and hopped in your bed again...

No way, right?!!! You were loving it! So, we read a story, turned the lights off, and bam - you lost it. UGH!!!! Scream, scream, scream. And now, you can run out the door. So, with out a thought, you ran right into the guest bedroom, climbed onto bed, and begged to sleep in there. So... we let you. Abs, this is what we call the formation of a habit.

So, Daddy and I thought and thought about what to do. We thought about switching rooms, but that wasn't going to work because we need the guest bedroom for Mimi (and other) visits. We tried moving the crib/toddler bed into the guest bedroom, but it wouldn't fit through the door, and Daddy wasn't about to take that thing apart! We even thought about putting the 'gate' back on the bed to make it a crib again. But, at the end of the day (and after consulting with your doctor), I decided we had to let you cry it out. The doc said to let you go 20 minutes, then reassure you that we were still outside, and put you back in there for another 20 minutes. Blah, the thought of this just made me sick, but I knew we had to do it.

So, Thursday night, it was on. As we were going through our routine, I told you over and over again, this was your bed, it was bed time and it's where you sleep. You totally knew what was going on, and didn't care for it. We didn't even get a book in because you started crying again. Well, I put you in the bed and literally had to run out the door. I'm not going to get into a lot of details, mainly because it makes Mimi sick at her stomach to hear it, and personally, I don't want to recall it either because it was by far the hardest night I've been through with you, including the 28 hours of labor and the first couple nights you were home. BUT, at almost 20 minutes on the dot, you stopped screaming and let go of the door handle. I could tell you moved away from the door, sobbing a little, and then it was quiet. I sat for another 5 minutes or so, patiently waiting, listening. I didn't hear anything so I went downstairs for awhile. Finally, I went back in your room to check on you, and low and behold, you were asleep, in your bed. Ah..... what a relief. Now, how long will this last...

SO, next day, Friday, today, it's time for a nap. Mommy is dreading this more than ever. Same routine, same tears - but this time, THREE MINUTES! In 3 minutes, you had stopped crying and went to sleep! YAY!!!! Of course, when I peeked in, you were asleep on the floor, not the bed, but it doesn't matter, you were asleep, in your room and I only had to stand my ground for 3 mintues! Woo-hoo!!!

So, bedtime... Same routine, except this time you actually let me read you a book without you getting all worked up. So we read, I turned the light out, you started whining, which please note, is MUCH different from the screams, and then, even though you were still whining, you let me physically put you in the bed! Now, that's not to say you didn't get up almost immediately, but before, I couldn't even get you in the bed. You, of course, ran to the door, but it, once again, was only whining, a little crying, but no screaming, and then 5 minutes later - complete silence. You'd fallen asleep! Of course, it was on the floor again, but I was able to put you in the bed without you waking up.

So, baby girl. I don't know what it is. Whether it's monsters, or the dark, or the crib (or spirits as a few think...) I think we're working it out. Man alive though -this has been one hard week for me and for you. I know you are exhausted and I really need you to get your rest because we have a such a fun weekend ahead of us!!!

Love you baby girl, even if we have to go through some hard times together!!!